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usually I won't comment on the results of our polls, unless inspiration strikes me. It did with our hairy poll. But first, take a gander at the results, HERE. As you can see, half of our voters (but only by a hair, heh heh) like their men more or less "natural," with moderate hair growth. Nearly half like 'em shaved. I gotta tell you, I did a search of the Webs (cursory as it was) and it's gosh-darn hard to find pix of musclemen who have "moderate" hair. .FishermanMuscle

A I figured today's guy would fit the bill, tho. Click on him. Go ahead, click. He won't mind. I bet he loves being clicked. You can see that although he has muscles out to here, he has a chest that oozes masculinity, what with its natural, moderate hair growth.

The thing I found a bit surprising—if not downright fishy—about our poll results is that only a hair of you like your men with lots of hair. It's much, much easier to find pix of out-and-out hairy musclemen. Not that I looked much. I place myself in the "hairless" camp, although I certainly wouldn't turn down an invitation to go camping with today's guy.

[Gosh, the twists, turns, and modified definitions never stop! Sorry; just can't help it.]

And BTW, have you commented on a story yet? Have you emailed Seanny?

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iam so much cooler today—not only cooler than yesterday, but also cooler than so many people on this Earth. [JK, people. Relax.] All seriousness aside, it's only 90° F outside right now (that's 32° to those of you who prefer the Celsius scale, which to us Fahrenheiters is, like, freezing), so things are better than yesterday. I even sat outside on a street corner this morning, sipping my iced coffee, fantasizing about today's muscle dude, and coming up with nasty storylines, as I basked in the quite comfortable sunshine.0604

An email poured in yesterday, chastising me for complaining about the heat in my fair city, reminding me that there are starving children in Biafra who would kill for a bite to eat. I'm not quite sure how all of that correlates to my aversion to unseasonable heat, but my response to the aforementioned emailer is this: Starving children in Biafra are not my target demographic. Further, like I said yesterday, we Oregonians can handle the heat; it's just that the first week of June is a tad too early to flirt with three digits F. Portlanders don't live here for the heat; Portlanders live here for the beer.

Our weekend poll has concluded—since, like, it's not the weekend anymore—and if you weren't around when the poll closed and didn't see the ending results, we'll have 'em up with tomorrow's blog post. I was moderately surprised with one particular aspect of the results.

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97 degrees. Yup. As I write this, it's Ninety-flippin'-seven degrees outside. Now, before you start in with the "Portlanders know nuttin' about heat," assertions, we usually get a few 100+ days in the summer. And we frequently have quite a number of 90+ days each year. So yeah, we're certainly no Albuquerque, but... whatever. And furthermore, those hot temps we usually get... that's in the summer. SUMMER, people!Josh Phelps0530

If the CWS will check his calendar, he will quickly be elucidated to the fact that SUMMER is still about two and-a-half weeks away! This is June 5! Usually in June, especially the beginning, Nature's modus operandi is to provide us with something like 60° days—usually overcast, frequently drizzly

Be that as it may, the positive side of all this is that people 'round here are taking off their shirts in droves! Take beautiful-and-muscular Josh Phelps, here, at the right. I don't know if he's here in Portland, but irregardful, he's delicious to look at, no?

Remember, this weekend's poll closes tonight!

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portland is going to get some major heat this weekend. Like, triple digits. One hundred degree days are not unheard-of in my fair city, but they don't occur that often. Let alone at the beginning of June! Oy! But at least, it's a dry heat. We Oregonians don't really have the word "humid" in our vocabulary.TomCole0603

So, if you live in this area and you've been putting off shaving your muscular body for awhile, tonight might be a good night to do it. That way, when you invite me over to spread suntan lotion (or aloe, in case you call me too late), the creamy stuff will absorb right into your skin, lickety-split. [And yes, I do mean creamy stuff. And I do mean lickety-split.]

See what I did there? I segued right into the topic of our poll for this weekend. And today's guy, Tom Cole, is also helping out with his speech balloon and everything. Incidentally, Tommy looks astoundingly like "The Hot Freezer Guy" about whom I wrote a few weeks ago, right HERE. Astoundingly. Except, of course, the part in the story where I was with said character shirtless, happened after the creative line-in-the-sand where I said fiction might take over. Thence, I don't know if "Rick" looks as good shirtless as this in real life, but I would be willing to bet that he'd give this guy (Tommy Boy) a run for his money. He was that hot. Come to think of it, the more I study Tom, he REALLY looks like "Rick." Hair is EXACTLY the same. Exactly. Facial features: Yup. Big arms, broad shoulders, small waist? Check. Truthfully, if it turned out that these two men were one and the same, it wouldn't surprise me a bit! Wow! How did this happen?!

And yet, as is so often the case when I'm confronted with muscles-dripping-with-gorgeousness, I have allowed this blond bombshell to distract me. So, let's drag this thing back to an on-topic state: Take the poll! There, you'll be able to express your preference as to how much hair your ideal muscle man has. Click on the black box in the right margin (the one that says "CLICK HERE TO TAKE THE POLL").

Stay cool!


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for those of you who didn't make it home from your Memorial Day weekend yet, and are still wandering around the countryside hopelessly lost, here's a road map. RoadMap

I bet this guy never gets lost on the highway. 


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just in case you didn't believe me yesterday, about how muscularly delicious Sergi Constance actually is, here's more proof. Admittedly, he's all spray-tanned for competition, but come on. Come on, people. Masculine muscles don't get more gorgeous than this. AND, looky at what he's holding in the picture. He's got an award-winning body!SergiConstance0601

Hey! It's June! And guess what, we are moving ever-closer to the actual GRAND OPENING of this site! What? the reasonably intelligent CWS is asking the screen... How is it that I'm reading this website when it's not actually open yet? (!) The answer: All this time you've been here, we've been in "Beta."

Beta is a word that means "We're just testing things out because we don't know what we're doing yet." It's a complex computer word, and you'll be forgiven if you didn't know it. Suffice it to say, what you're reading now is just a test, because I don't know what I'm doing yet."*

The upshot is this: We're going to have an actual GRAND OPENING, and it'll be on FRIDAY, JUNE 10th. So, be sure to check back that day! There'll be door prizes! Party Favors! Free Booze (to adults)! Contests! Polls! Dancers! Dancers on Polls! Free Tours of the BuffMuscles Office & Suites in Wanker's Corner, Oregon! Strippers! New Stories! Special "MuscleStimul.us Grand Opening Porno Pictures and Clips!" Glory Holes! And more!

So please MakeANoteOfIt. Those of you who are of limited means regarding the production of semen might want to save up a few days. It's gonna be THAT good.


* This isn't to imply that I will ever know what I'm doing.

MuscleStimul.us reserves the right to limit quantities. First come, first served. Not too many things listed herein will actually be available. ComeToThinkOfIt, nevermind; we'll prolly just have Costco hors d'oeuvres and coffee.


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sergi Constance has to be one of the most gorgeous, masculine muscle-hunks EVr. This is my opinion, and IMHO, it's a damn accurate opinion.


So, when I saw this pic of Sergi, I started fiddling around with it. Did a little shadowing. I like how, when shown on an all-white page (like this one) it looks like he's just standing on the screen. All muscly and stuff.

All gorgeous and stuff. Could you not just jump in bed with him, like five minutes ago?!

I hope you had a nice Memorial Day, fellow Americans. For me, it was wieners all-around. (Picnic.)

The results of the latest poll are up now, as well as a synopsis of how we're going to handle polls (time-wise) from here on out.


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i'm going through a Dallas McCarver phase. I remember him from a few years ago. He was gorgeous then; he's gorgeouser—and huge—now.


Might just be the grist for a future story. You never know.

OH, and if you thought the Memorial Day Weekend POLL was closed, it's not. I had the settings on said poll set wrong(ly). But if you still want to take the poll, do it! It'll be available for the taking till the end of Memorial Day. 


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bonus points to anyone who can name the movie and the scene from which the title of today's post cometh. Actually, we shouldn't be giving bonus points to those gays who possess this information. Every card-carrying gay should know this. It's basic knowledge.


Finger it out yet? Of course you have. It was spoken by the slimily-evil Baroness von Schraeder on the patio of the von Trapp villa (I've been there, BTW—twice) in that one scene in the Sound of Music, as she offered the captain a pink lemonade. Like I said, any gay man worth his salt would be aware of that quote. (Fret not, though. If you weren't aware, it actually only means you don't fit the every-gay-man-worth-his-salt-knows-everything-about-the-Sound-of-Music stereotype. You're unique! (Uniquer than me, anyway.)

So what, the by-now-impatient visitor to this site wants to know, does this have to do with anything?

Well, those are the words that came to my mind when I first saw today's guy. Something long, and cool. Tall and delicious. As one of my friends would say, "A tall drink of water."

So there's that.

Moving on... Hopefully, if you're an American, you're having a wonderfully fun time celebrating Memorial Day Weekend. Please remember to remember those who gave their all for our freedoms. A very serious note: If we didn't have the freedoms that so many have fought—and died—for, you wouldn't be able to read the kind of stuff I'm writing to you.

Freedom is quite under-rated.


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here we are! It's the "unofficial" beginning of summer! The Memorial Day Weekend in the United States* is when all of us Americans start throwing caution to the wind, wearing skimpy thongs, driving convertibles over cliffs, cooking lots of wieners on the grill, and celebrating Del Sol. It's quite the thing.


But before we go further with this illustrious post, we must needs have a NEWS BULLETIN: BREAKING NEWS!: Please be sure to take our Memorial Day Weekend Poll, K? Click HERE. This poll is all about telling us how often you want to have said polls. It's 'mpotent! Thanks, CWSs. We now return you to your regularly-scheduled (delicious) blog post.

Part of all the Memorial Day ruckus includes some traveling. We Americans love to take vacations. (The Brits call it taking a holiday, which to us Yanks is as weird as calling an umbrella a bumbershoot, or an elevator a lift.) Of course, when one travels nowadays, the method of transit often includes moving through the air in a long cylinder—a shaft of sorts—wherein we have to go through security, wait an interminably long time, and then sit for hours in said shaft, while being served, by plastically-friendly flight attendants. Usually said attendants are nice enough. Seldom are they boner material.

Today's man bucks that trend. No?

I'd let this guy serve me my tomato juice any day. Or ginger ale. Nuts too. Especially nuts. ["Excuse me, Mr. Scott, but I have nuts, if you'd like... Please feel free to feel... er, enjoy... my nuts."] Fly the friendly skies of "Bonaire." Guaranteed to give you a... boner.

The astute CWS might quickly observe that said flight attendant-hunk has enormously-gorgeous arms, perhaps at the expense of his legs. I'm not criticizing, in any way. I would let this dude do anything to initiate me into the mile-high club. Anything. I'm just saying that... well, now I can't remember what I was sayin'. Slightly distracted by those gorgeous arms. And that confident smile. ["Ladies and gentlemen, please come to the galley if you'd like more... nuts."]

Which reminds me of the familiar phrase said flight attendants love to use when discussing us passengers about the exits. "Please remember that your nearest exit might be behind you."

Uh, yeah.

MY nearest exit occurred about a millisecond before I saw this dude. WAY behind me now.

* A hearty greeting to all you CWSs from other lands: The actual MAJORITY of the world! 

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i'm really liking the Tumblr thing. Today's man is something I snagged off one of the accounts I follow there. There's lots of stuff like this on there, as I'm sure you know. 

TumblrThis is the stuff stories are made of.*  And it's the stuff that really good story characters are made of.*  I love the whole premise of this kid's morphed arms; he's just taunting and teasing his coach: "Wanna give me an extra credit assignment?"**  I often use just a picture of a dude to inspire a whole story—as was the case with my mention, in yesterday's post, of Victor Martinez for "Strapping."

If you're not on Tumblr, you should be. If you are already on Tumblr, follow me! Oh, and then let me know of your site there, so I can follow you!

OH, and did you notice? You can now COMMENT on the posts here! Please do so (keeping in mind, Ellen's wise admonishment: "Be kind to one another.")!



* To end a sentence with a preposition.

** To end a sentence with a proposition.

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community. It's what we're all about here at MuscleStimul.us. Not really. We're actually all about muscle. We just want you to think you're important. That said, one of the most powerful means we've found to make our readers feel included and important is to allow them the frequent opportunity to make their voice heard. Thence, our polls. Well, guess what... our very first poll (earlier polls on our previous websites notwithstanding) on this here site is now in the books!

05: 12 votesWe (those of us who love to refer to ourselves in the third person) asked our CWSs to gaze at a specific group of pictures and then, simply, vote as to which pic ya'll preferred; using your own criteria. As is now obvious, today's man (number 5) won! BTW, this ebony muscle beauty is Victor Martinez. BT2W,* Victor himself was the inspiration for my now-classic (in my own mind) series: "Strapping." Clickage on the aforementioned title will land you access. I do intend to repost this classic, as well as many others, on this website. We're constantly looking for ways to make your visits to MuscleStimul.us more stimulating. Do check back.

The full results of said poll are HERE

Oh, and I promise that our next poll will be easier to navigate (read: fewer choices). I'd be interested to know what YOU (yes, YOU, right there on the other side of this screen) think of these results. Are you surprised? I was actually surprised with some of the votes. I'll prolly address that surprise in a later post. In the mean time, email me, won't you?

For now, thank you for your participation. Well, thanks to those who participated for their participation. If you dint participate (and really, how-the-hell-hard was it to click on a vote?) then thanks for nuttin'.

Our next poll is forthcoming. 


*By The 2nd Way 

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nce in a long while, you happen upon something spectacular that just blows your socks off. I believe you will find my up-and-coming series to be just that: Blow-your-socks-off spectacular. I'm not totally sure that it will be, yet I want you to believe that it will be.

They're coming. So will you.So, I'm gonna promote the hell out of said series, in the hopes that my marketing skills will make up for any deficiency in the stories. [Wow, I'm sounding like I really don't think this story will be great. That is not actually at all true. I'm very proud of it, so far!]

So, keep your Web Eyes peeled. There'll likely be a teaser for The Hypermales very soon.

OH, and you don't have much time to express your opinion! Please take the poll HERE. Then, please email me with your thoughts regarding why you choosed what you chose. The poll ends tonight (Tuesday) at 11:59PM PDT.


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