SATURDAY, January 11, 2020
AST SUNDAY THE GOLDEN GLOBES awards were handed out. The next day (which, if my Gregorian calendar is accurate, was Monday) a(n opinion) column (as opposed to an actual news report) was web-published with the title: “Jason Momoa’s arms were the real stars of the Golden Globes”.
So obviously, I had to check out the column. I mean, arms? Jason Momoa?
Admittedly, Jason Momoa is indeed a brawny, gorgeous specimen of masculine bigness. I love his hair. I love his scarred eyebrow (I think Momoa and Charlie Puth should make babies. Can you imagine the eyebrows on those kids? But that’s just my opinion). Additionally, I love Jason’s adorably cute personality. He’s a big Teddy Bear, IMO. When I first saw him in the media, moons ago, it was love at first sight—in a non-sthenolagnic kind of way. I mean, yes, he’s gorgeous, but I’ve never, ever, even considered his arms to be anything to write home (or the Internet) about.
So, being the faithful investigative muscle journalist that I am, yes—I clicked. I wanted to see the arms that apparently had been the real star of the Goldeny Globules.
Upon seeing the picture that the columnist included as evidence of show-stealing-wonder-arms (today's pic), my initial, immediate, overwhelming reaction was: ExSQUEEZE me?
These arms stole a show? My second grade teacher (a 99 year-old-woman at the time) had better arms than this!
I’m sorry, but I make no apology for pointing out that Jason Momoa’s arms, although not twigs, are definitely not show-stoppers.
I. Mean. Come. On.
Look at the pic.
Yes, people tweeted that they enjoyed seeing Jason in a tank top (a dubious perspective, when you’ve seen the kinds of arms in tank tops that any red-blooded sthenolagniate has). But really, it doesn’t take Hercule Poirot to uncover the fact that Jason’s arms are definitely not anything I’d waste any time at all pursuing.
I submit, as evidence, the arms of YouTube sensation, Matthew Morsia, from that Great Britainical country, the United Kington. Matt’s YouTube channel is called Matt Does Fitness (subscribe right now; you won't be sorry), and well, the man’s body is lean muscle brought to orgasmic levels, to say the least. If you haven’t yet subscribed to his YouTube channel, you will after you see him. He’s not only Lean-Muscle-In-The-Flesh-Almighty, he’s gorgeous and hilarious too (not to mention his wife is beautiful & subtle (can you even imagine being married to that man, and making a baby with him?), and their son Luca is simply an adorable little boy [would that I had a daddy like Luca has!]). Truly, the man is so full of fun life (not to mention lean muscle) that I just can’t stand it. He scrambles my little grey cells. If you appreciate what *I* appreciate, then know this: Matt is a MUST SEE.
Anyhoo, if you want to see show-stopping arms, take a gander at Matt Morsia. Those cephalic veins get me every time. And don't even BEGIN to talk about those lips. Those guns are huge. He’s tall, perfect, lean, and just... yeah.
Um, yeah. There's no.
And anyone who writes an article that touts arms like Jason's as show-stoppers needs to be replaced. Replaced, I tell you. (I’m available, if your editor is interested. I've done a little writing.)
Have a nice weekend. :)
OH, and here's a little addendum to the Globey story.
OH! and here's another...um...somethi...oh, never mind. I forgot.
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